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Sunday, September 27, 2009

part 22

Dedicated to all you ANONS,

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT on my personal life and my story. ;***


I opted for a brownie and icebreaker after that scene instead of the salad and water.

Here we go again with heartbreaks and heartaches.

I stormed out of the store and rushed straight home to the bed, opened the brownie and the icecream and ate the pain away while listening to rashid il majed's bala 7ob (cuteandcuddly suggestion hehe).

halfway through, my brooding time was over since i heard the doorbell ring... ugh, i don't even feel like getting up!!

but what can I do? the person was persistent, ringing it over and over again.

so i hauled my ass off the couch and opened the door.

"Wha---" I started as the person on the other side stormed in.

My brain was too slow and the person was too fast as he rushed in... I realized second later it was Josh.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! You don't want ME but you want to SABOTAGE MY RELATIONSHIPS?!" he screamed as he was stepping back and forth.

okay, now this ISN'T okay.... I shut the door, "ME??!?!?!?! I didn't do anything!!!!"

and if he wasn't already furious, i don't know what he was, but now he's even angrier, he stopped pacing back and forth and faced me, his eyes in attack mode, "TALAH! NO MY GREAT AUNT KELLY!!! WHO ELSE?!?!?!! AND YES YES YOU DID!!!!!! you were so immature!!!! and so attacking and soooo soooo"


he came closer so quickly, i'm sure it was war now, "WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE WAY I TREAT SHERRY?!!?!"

"YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO MAKE ME JEALOUS!" I replied as I stood on my toes to reach his height, ugh this isn't fair! why'd guys have to be taller? the power goes to them!

He face was right above mine by now, he brought his face right down to mine, "what'd you mean jealous, don't you get it Talah? I'm over you." He replied softly which suprised both him and I.

"That's not true, Josh." I whispered.

"Yes, yes it is Talah." I can feel myself loosing him, he started to turn... This is too fast, I still need time with him... I can't get enough of him....

I see him for an hour, I miss him the next, I'm not ready to let go.

"Josh, please." I croaked as I grabbed his arm.

He turned around and swooped me up in his arms. We both can't take it anymore.

I smiled when I realized what was going to happen.


Mino bida jam3a aw madrisa ilyoum? O how was your day?

Any people new to highschool or jam3a?

Thursday, September 24, 2009

part 21

"Oh" I replied, the pain and hurt stabbing my heart and chest. stop it!

"So how do you two know each other?" Sherry asked us.

"Well " I started then paused.... ummm... what'd do I say to that, it was kinda awkward. KIND OF? it was freakingly insanely awkward.

"We used to date?" Josh asked as if he wasn't even sure.


"Yeah, we did date." I said while looking in his eyes the whole time, "I don't know why he's asking. We did. Date."

"Oh, really? So we did date Talah? You didn't just string me up and show me off around?" His eyes burning into mine.

"YES, we did." I replied firmly, "I can't believe what you're thinking right now!!! I didn't string you around!" I'm literally trying to hold myself in place and keep my voice down instead of attacking him.

He couldn't hold his nerves, he took a step closer.

We practically forgot about Miss Sherry next to him.

"Oh, yeah, what'd you call our *rolling his eyes* relationship."

"Wow, how mature Josh."

"What'd you want me to say, Talah?"

"Say to what?! I can't believe you thought I was fake with you! I can't believe you're thinking none of it was real." Tears were now forming in my eyes. STUPID LOVE TEARS! I just came for some salad and a soda and now I got this whole argument and now I'm the tears are turning into drops....


"At the time, it felt so real, but after, after Talah, it really hurt, you just used me."

"Ahem." Miss Sherri cleared her little throat reminding us that she was still there.

Woah. whoops.

I took a step back and so did Josh.

"Sorry, Sherri." I apologized while my eyes were glued to the floor.

She turned to Josh, "Obviously, you're going through some stuff right now. I'm sorry Josh, but I just need to know if you're over her or you're not..... I for one don't want to be strung along or be a toy just to make someone else jealous."

Oh man, I felt so bad for her.. shoot, what'd we just do!

"No, Sherri" He replied softly, "I'm sorry, really.... don't worry," He looked over at me, his eyes in mine, "I'm over it."


Okay, the burning, stinging pain is back. please don't say that, please!

Sherri looked from me to him, she saw him take a stab at me with the "over it" .....

"You know what Josh?! I need to go home. I honestly can't deal with you two right now. I'm over drama and I'm sensing drama over this whole scene!"


"-home, now! Please."

He grunted.... and eyed me, like I ruined his new relationship!

He walked out and Sherry was following him

until he was out, she turned around, came up to me,

and said: "Stay strong, Talah. I'm sorry about this whole scene. I'm sure he's not ready for a relationship.. I felt it the whole time I was with him, and now I know why."

She patted my arm, "Take it easy, and I understand how you feel, breakups are messy, and guys can be jerks. Take care."

And just like that she was gone.

And just like that I knew I loved her and never could've hated her even if she did date Josh.

And just like that I felt so bad b/c in our relationship I was the jerk.

And just like that I realized why I'm not ready for Hassan.

I'm still heals over head in love with Josh.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

part 20

part 19 is up oo 3eedkum mbarak!

For the next week, I spent my whole time with 7assan and Chloe.

Chloe by day, 7assan by night oo etc.

Hassan was constantly flirting, making me smile, and touching me bas I wasn't ready to take a step forward.

And Chloe was nice enough not to mention Josh or anything although it killed me that I didn't see him.

Until a week later, when I ran into him at a restaurant.



"Josh, is that you.. heyy, how is everything."

He looked so good in his jeans and t-shirt and his piercing blue eyes as blue and beautiful as ever.

"everything's good...umm, how about you?"

I was about to reply when an arm wraps itself around Josh's arm with a manicured hand connected to it on one side and a beautiful blond face and body on the other.

"Hi there." She greeted me, smiling this hundred watt smile.

"Hey." I said looking from her to Josh.

"Talah, this is -"

"-Sherry." She offered me her french manicured hand.

"She's my girlfriend."

"Ah, hey." I was stunned, and silenced.... what do I say to that exactly.

"Yeah, hey Talah." She looked at me blankly, like she didn't know what to say.

"Hey, that's nice! How long have you been together?" I asked.

"Well, I met him 4 weeks ago.... "

"Yeah, at a party." Josh continued.

"And he was the sweetest thing ever."

"Yeah, I know." I commented under my breath.

Pain was surging up my chest.


Ya3ni 7asa ina mali ma3na.

They make me feel like crap.

I thought I'm done loosing friends, 6ila3 la2, loosing friends is my specialty- AM I THAT FORGETTABLE!?

I try, I make an effort!

wallah i'm tired of feeling this way, i'm tired of feeling left out, i'm tired of feeling unwanted, & I'm tired of this PAIN & HURT.

if they really "missed" me like they say, they should make an effort to see me.

lies lies lies!




oo 3eedkum mbarak!!