part 21

"Oh" I replied, the pain and hurt stabbing my heart and chest. stop it!


"So how do you two know each other?" Sherry asked us.


"Well " I started then paused.... ummm... what'd do I say to that, it was kinda awkward. KIND OF? it was freakingly insanely awkward.

"We used to date?" Josh asked as if he wasn't even sure.


OUCH.


"Yeah, we did date." I said while looking in his eyes the whole time, "I don't know why he's asking. We did. Date."


"Oh, really? So we did date Talah? You didn't just string me up and show me off around?" His eyes burning into mine.


"YES, we did." I replied firmly, "I can't believe what you're thinking right now!!! I didn't string you around!" I'm literally trying to hold myself in place and keep my voice down instead of attacking him.


He couldn't hold his nerves, he took a step closer.

We practically forgot about Miss Sherry next to him.


"Oh, yeah, what'd you call our *rolling his eyes* relationship."


"Wow, how mature Josh."


"What'd you want me to say, Talah?"



"Say to what?! I can't believe you thought I was fake with you! I can't believe you're thinking none of it was real." Tears were now forming in my eyes. STUPID LOVE TEARS! I just came for some salad and a soda and now I got this whole argument and now I'm the tears are turning into drops....


STUPID LOVE DROPS!


"At the time, it felt so real, but after, after Talah, it really hurt, you just used me."



"Ahem." Miss Sherri cleared her little throat reminding us that she was still there.


Woah. whoops.


I took a step back and so did Josh.


"Sorry, Sherri." I apologized while my eyes were glued to the floor.


She turned to Josh, "Obviously, you're going through some stuff right now. I'm sorry Josh, but I just need to know if you're over her or you're not..... I for one don't want to be strung along or be a toy just to make someone else jealous."


Oh man, I felt so bad for her.. shoot, what'd we just do!


"No, Sherri" He replied softly, "I'm sorry, really.... don't worry," He looked over at me, his eyes in mine, "I'm over it."

Ouch.


Okay, the burning, stinging pain is back. please don't say that, please!



Sherri looked from me to him, she saw him take a stab at me with the "over it" .....

"You know what Josh?! I need to go home. I honestly can't deal with you two right now. I'm over drama and I'm sensing drama over this whole scene!"


"Sherry-"

"-home, now! Please."


He grunted.... and eyed me, like I ruined his new relationship!


He walked out and Sherry was following him

until he was out, she turned around, came up to me,

and said: "Stay strong, Talah. I'm sorry about this whole scene. I'm sure he's not ready for a relationship.. I felt it the whole time I was with him, and now I know why."

She patted my arm, "Take it easy, and I understand how you feel, breakups are messy, and guys can be jerks. Take care."


And just like that she was gone.


And just like that I knew I loved her and never could've hated her even if she did date Josh.


And just like that I felt so bad b/c in our relationship I was the jerk.


And just like that I realized why I'm not ready for Hassan.



I'm still heals over head in love with Josh.