part 22

Dedicated to all you ANONS,
LOVE GEEK,
MARY POPPINS,
DAZZLIN,
LICIOUS,
STARLIGHTS,
NAWARII,
IDENTITY,
COOKIES AND CREAM,
PIMPLE,
LOVE YOU ALLL ;**

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT on my personal life and my story. ;***
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I opted for a brownie and icebreaker after that scene instead of the salad and water.

Here we go again with heartbreaks and heartaches.

I stormed out of the store and rushed straight home to the bed, opened the brownie and the icecream and ate the pain away while listening to rashid il majed's bala 7ob (cuteandcuddly suggestion hehe).


halfway through, my brooding time was over since i heard the doorbell ring... ugh, i don't even feel like getting up!!

but what can I do? the person was persistent, ringing it over and over again.

so i hauled my ass off the couch and opened the door.

"Wha---" I started as the person on the other side stormed in.

My brain was too slow and the person was too fast as he rushed in... I realized second later it was Josh.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! You don't want ME but you want to SABOTAGE MY RELATIONSHIPS?!" he screamed as he was stepping back and forth.

okay, now this ISN'T okay.... I shut the door, "ME??!?!?!?! I didn't do anything!!!!"

and if he wasn't already furious, i don't know what he was, but now he's even angrier, he stopped pacing back and forth and faced me, his eyes in attack mode, "TALAH! NO MY GREAT AUNT KELLY!!! WHO ELSE?!?!?!! AND YES YES YOU DID!!!!!! you were so immature!!!! and so attacking and soooo soooo"

"I'M THE ONE THAT'S BEING IMMATURE?!?!? YOU SHOULD TRY HEARING YOURSELF JOSH!!!!! YOU CAN'T EVEN SPEAK IN COMPLETE SENTENCES AND YOU'RE MAJORING IN ENGLISH!!!!! AND THE WAY YOU'RE TREATING SHERRY... UGH! I CAN'T EVEN START THERE!!!"


he came closer so quickly, i'm sure it was war now, "WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE WAY I TREAT SHERRY?!!?!"

"YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO MAKE ME JEALOUS!" I replied as I stood on my toes to reach his height, ugh this isn't fair! why'd guys have to be taller? the power goes to them!


He face was right above mine by now, he brought his face right down to mine, "what'd you mean jealous, don't you get it Talah? I'm over you." He replied softly which suprised both him and I.


"That's not true, Josh." I whispered.


"Yes, yes it is Talah." I can feel myself loosing him, he started to turn... This is too fast, I still need time with him... I can't get enough of him....

I see him for an hour, I miss him the next, I'm not ready to let go.

"Josh, please." I croaked as I grabbed his arm.

He turned around and swooped me up in his arms. We both can't take it anymore.

I smiled when I realized what was going to happen.




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Mino bida jam3a aw madrisa ilyoum? O how was your day?

Any people new to highschool or jam3a?

part 21

"Oh" I replied, the pain and hurt stabbing my heart and chest. stop it!


"So how do you two know each other?" Sherry asked us.


"Well " I started then paused.... ummm... what'd do I say to that, it was kinda awkward. KIND OF? it was freakingly insanely awkward.

"We used to date?" Josh asked as if he wasn't even sure.


OUCH.


"Yeah, we did date." I said while looking in his eyes the whole time, "I don't know why he's asking. We did. Date."


"Oh, really? So we did date Talah? You didn't just string me up and show me off around?" His eyes burning into mine.


"YES, we did." I replied firmly, "I can't believe what you're thinking right now!!! I didn't string you around!" I'm literally trying to hold myself in place and keep my voice down instead of attacking him.


He couldn't hold his nerves, he took a step closer.

We practically forgot about Miss Sherry next to him.


"Oh, yeah, what'd you call our *rolling his eyes* relationship."


"Wow, how mature Josh."


"What'd you want me to say, Talah?"



"Say to what?! I can't believe you thought I was fake with you! I can't believe you're thinking none of it was real." Tears were now forming in my eyes. STUPID LOVE TEARS! I just came for some salad and a soda and now I got this whole argument and now I'm the tears are turning into drops....


STUPID LOVE DROPS!


"At the time, it felt so real, but after, after Talah, it really hurt, you just used me."



"Ahem." Miss Sherri cleared her little throat reminding us that she was still there.


Woah. whoops.


I took a step back and so did Josh.


"Sorry, Sherri." I apologized while my eyes were glued to the floor.


She turned to Josh, "Obviously, you're going through some stuff right now. I'm sorry Josh, but I just need to know if you're over her or you're not..... I for one don't want to be strung along or be a toy just to make someone else jealous."


Oh man, I felt so bad for her.. shoot, what'd we just do!


"No, Sherri" He replied softly, "I'm sorry, really.... don't worry," He looked over at me, his eyes in mine, "I'm over it."

Ouch.


Okay, the burning, stinging pain is back. please don't say that, please!



Sherri looked from me to him, she saw him take a stab at me with the "over it" .....

"You know what Josh?! I need to go home. I honestly can't deal with you two right now. I'm over drama and I'm sensing drama over this whole scene!"


"Sherry-"

"-home, now! Please."


He grunted.... and eyed me, like I ruined his new relationship!


He walked out and Sherry was following him

until he was out, she turned around, came up to me,

and said: "Stay strong, Talah. I'm sorry about this whole scene. I'm sure he's not ready for a relationship.. I felt it the whole time I was with him, and now I know why."

She patted my arm, "Take it easy, and I understand how you feel, breakups are messy, and guys can be jerks. Take care."


And just like that she was gone.


And just like that I knew I loved her and never could've hated her even if she did date Josh.


And just like that I felt so bad b/c in our relationship I was the jerk.


And just like that I realized why I'm not ready for Hassan.



I'm still heals over head in love with Josh.

part 20

part 19 is up oo 3eedkum mbarak!

For the next week, I spent my whole time with 7assan and Chloe.

Chloe by day, 7assan by night oo etc.


Hassan was constantly flirting, making me smile, and touching me bas I wasn't ready to take a step forward.

And Chloe was nice enough not to mention Josh or anything although it killed me that I didn't see him.


Until a week later, when I ran into him at a restaurant.

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"Talah?"

"Josh, is that you.. heyy, how is everything."

He looked so good in his jeans and t-shirt and his piercing blue eyes as blue and beautiful as ever.

"everything's good...umm, how about you?"

I was about to reply when an arm wraps itself around Josh's arm with a manicured hand connected to it on one side and a beautiful blond face and body on the other.

"Hi there." She greeted me, smiling this hundred watt smile.

"Hey." I said looking from her to Josh.


"Talah, this is -"

"-Sherry." She offered me her french manicured hand.

"She's my girlfriend."

"Ah, hey." I was stunned, and silenced.... what do I say to that exactly.

"Yeah, hey Talah." She looked at me blankly, like she didn't know what to say.

"Hey, that's nice! How long have you been together?" I asked.

"Well, I met him 4 weeks ago.... "

"Yeah, at a party." Josh continued.

"And he was the sweetest thing ever."

"Yeah, I know." I commented under my breath.

Pain was surging up my chest.

Ta3abt

Ya3ni 7asa ina mali ma3na.

They make me feel like crap.


I thought I'm done loosing friends, 6ila3 la2, loosing friends is my specialty- AM I THAT FORGETTABLE!?

I try, I make an effort!

wallah i'm tired of feeling this way, i'm tired of feeling left out, i'm tired of feeling unwanted, & I'm tired of this PAIN & HURT.


if they really "missed" me like they say, they should make an effort to see me.

lies lies lies!


whatever,

6af....


BTW PART 19 IS UP!!

oo 3eedkum mbarak!!

part 19

INTERNET IS FIXED MY LOVELYS! ;****

I looked down at Josh..

"What am I going to do with you?" I whispered and shook my head.

He looked up at me from where he sat on the floor with his big blue eyes, filled with confusion and so lost.

"Come on."

"I'm sleepyy." He slurred as he accepted my hand.

"Yeah, I know.... you smell terrible!"

"First time I ever drank, Talahhh."

I sighed.

"Come on, let's go get you cleaned up."

"Why, Talah?" He asked sleepily as I helped him walk to a guestroom.

"Why, what?"

"Why'd you hurt me like this. We should've known what we were getting ourselves into."

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I didn't see Josh after then for about a month or so after because two weeks after the party, I went back to Kuwait with Haya.

It was nice to spend the time with family, such a big change to uni life. I missed everyone here.


Anyways, I said my goodbyes again and went back to the states two weeks later.


Hassan was waiting for me at the airport (we kept in touch the whole time and he got back a day earlier than me).

"Hallah shloonich?" He greeted me.

"Hassan!" I jumped on him which I think might have frightened him, hehe. He comes from such a respective family in Kuwait, I'm pretty sure he's not that used to a huge change like me.

I mean my family is respective (we're probably at the same level) but I'm kind of a rebel (in Kuwait's terms of innocent, I would be a rebel).

"Hallah, awa9lich il bait?"

"La2, mali 5ulg, let's go get icecream!!!"

"Talah, chinich yahil."

I pouted and he smiled, "Yallah 5anroo7." ;)

We got to the icecream place and while waiting in line, he asked me: "Ma sa2altich lail7en, bas Talah, sh9ar ma3a Josh?"

"Walah shay."

"Wala shay." He echoed stunned, "Ya3ni ma kalamti?"

"Shaklik itshawig winta mi7tar." I teased as I poked his arm.

"Tallahhhhh." He groaned, annoyed.

"La2 makalamta 7asoon."

"Ya3ni shloon, you're free il7een."

I took a moment to think about it. Really think about it. I had a month to think about it, and now I had to face both of them.

"Ee, ana free." I replied.

Happy Ramadhan!!!

Hey everyone... I know it's late, but MBARAK 3ALAIKUM IL SHAHAR!!! :)

better late then never. ;)


how are you all doing?!

I've missed you.


I know you're going to kill me for this but, people, I honestly forgot about the blogs and stories... like I read other people's blogs but I completely forgot about mine until I got an email that people are commenting on my blog....

oops.


lol;p

anyways, I'll try to update the upcoming days.


Love you all ;**

Hi, My Name Is...


PS: Do any of you know if they sell Blackberry external battery chargers anywhere in Kuwait?

part 18b

LOOL i'm an idiot, posted on the wrong blog... here it is. ;)

thank you for commenting anon, one of my silent readers. :D ;*
and wonderland, socail butterfly, and mary poppins. :D

part 18a was up, read it.... comment. ;) :D
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"JOSH!" I screamed, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING."

But he didn't hear me because Hassan hit him back... punched him would be the right word.

I couldn't see what's happening, who was on who but I heard a lot of grunts.

"HASAN OGAF!!! BASSS!!!!!! JOSH STOP IT!!!!!!!!" I screamed. I didn't what to do. I put my arm on someone's back but they pushed me away.

"BAS YOU GUYS STOP!!! ENOUGH!!!" I started crying.

Faj2a wa7id thalith dash ma3aahum yiwa5irhum 3an ba3a'6... intibahat oo 6ila3 Alex.
He was pushing them away from each other.

There was blood and bruises and they looked like they want to kill each other. Josh kept wanting to get out of Alex's grasp but because of how drunk he was, he couldn't.

I put both hands on Hassan's arms while tears were falling from my eyes, "7asan, bas!!!"


He wanted to fight back... he was trying to shove me off. He had a bruise on his face, his lips were bleeding and he had a bunch of other bruises on his hands. Josh's nose was bleeding, his chin was bruised and also had a bunch of bruises.

Hassan was breathing heavily, he turned to me, the anger still in his eyes, "I7na it5arajna! i7na bil jam3a!!!! shal yahel?!!? goolay 7ag rab3ich 5al yi3arfoon mino yi6igoon! it3arfeena i7na shabab il kuwait, man gan9ir bil hwash.... fahmee! wain ga3deen? Highschool is over!" kalmany ba3dain 9ara5 3ala Josh.

"You $#@! $% !@#$% @#% , you D&*$, you F*&$#*(* D*&$!" Josh howled back oo ohwa sakran.

Hassan wa5ar 3ani oo bida yamshi, "il '6ahar may3arif shino i7na il q8iyeen insawii.... 5al a3alma, a2adba."

I was scared to death! In highschool, the guys used to bring all sorts of stuff, knives, metal.... everything..... but thank God Hassan was walking away toward his car.

Alex let go of Josh, as Josh fell to the ground. He came to me, "Talah, are you okay?" He pulled me to him.

"I dunno." I whimpered into his chest. I felt comforted straight away. You know Jasper from Twilight and how he changes the mood? That's how Alex is, he makes things calmer, better. It kind of cleared my head as we stood there for two minute, quietly. It was great to have a friend like that. My tears stopped, I stayed for another minute until I was ready to get back to reality.

Alex let go of me and went to Josh, "Come one big guy, time to get you to a room."

"Umm, actually Alex, can I take him."

He looked at me, "You sure?"

I breathed, "Yes." I replied as I exhaled.

"Take care, my T."

"Okay, thanks so much Alex." I replied as he hugged me again.

"If you need anything, you know where to get me." He whispered into my hair while I hugged back.

"Thanks so much Al, you're a really good friend."

Why I Love Alex Gaskarth

and of course Jack Barakat. :)



I LOVE the whole band. So much.

WARNING: some things are inappropriate.... definitely PG 17 maybe hahaha;p

this may be boring.... i just love them. if u have nothing else to do, and are bored to death, watch these. :P